Valentine's Day

Isn't the weather nice? I know that is a totally lame way to start this blog entry, but it's true! In my lifetime, the month of February has always held notoriously awful events. For some reason the dreary weather always seems to get me down one way or another. But... If all twenty eight days of February felt like today did, I think I could survive it year after year. Even though the highs were in the low forties, the sun is shining! Therefore, anything is possible.

And on this sunny February day, I worked up a sweat mucking stalls, working tirelessly on my research paper, and realized that it's Valentine's Day! I'm not sure exactly how I escaped noticing all of the gaudy heart decorations and chocolates, but somehow I did. Of course I knew the day when all the romantics in the world shamelessly surface was coming up but had no idea it was today until Wal-Mart happened. There was one and only one purpose for me being in America's superstore, and that was to get enough red food coloring for a few more red velvet cakes. But as you know, my experiences rarely turn out to be that simple.

As I was walking towards the back of the store, I passed the clothing section. You know, when you go to Wal-Mart, don't you expect the scenery to be mostly G-rated? Well.. Apparently that expectation is excused on Valentine's Day!

I was walking along, focused as could be, when I looked to my left. Bold, printed, floral lingerie. My eyes widened, not in a good way. Ew. I shook the mental thought and then continued on down the white-plastic-road. About four steps later, I happened to look to my left again. You probably have already caught onto the way this "left-looking" was going, only this time, it was worse than I ever could have imagined. There was PLUS-SIZED CHEETAH lingerie. I'm sorry, but EWW!!! I'm all about expressing your sexuality, but do we really have to do it on the end rows of Wal-mart?

I feel much better now that this information is out in cyber-world.

And now that everyone is surely interested in my Valentine's Day experiences, let me continue.

About an hour later, I was faithfully reading People Magazine while waiting to pick my little sister up from speech. Who's with who and who's not has not ever really interested me, and neither has Justin Bieber for that matter. But since it's Valentine's Day, both topics are on nearly every page. Skimming, skimming, skimming, "5 Things I Learned About Justin Bieber." Hmmm... The corresponding pictures were exactly what you would expect out of the pop-phenomenon. Sixteen year old with a big ego. Just for kicks, I decided to go along with this Bieber Fever thing and learn five things about him.

1. He's not a picky eater. He grabs a doughnut from the trash and eats pepperoni, pineapple and bacon pizza with friends.

Ok.. so you're a teenage boy.

2. He grew up around wild animals: His beloved grandfather has a taxidermied fox and wolf in his house in Canada. (Thanks to Justin and his pals, the fox now has a detached leg.)

Don't care.

3. He shaves! "I need a razor," the 16-year-old proclaims before a scene of him grooming his (seemingly) whiskerless face.

Really?

4. He's still a kid at heart. His bedding themes: the Toronto Maple Leafs (in his grandparents' home) and Spider-Man (on his tour bus).

I'll come back to this.

5. Bieber downs a green drink he calls "dinosaur pee." (Usher encouraged it.)

Usher? Where?

Ok. Now you know what I know about Justin Bieber. Except I have something to say. Take another look at number four. The boy has Spider-Man on his sheets!!! Now take a look at this picture.

Justin Bieber with Selena Gomez

Does this look like a boy who sleeps with Spider-Man on his sheets? I wonder where he would take her if they got bored with the boat... The Spider-Man sheets!!?? Sexy, Bieber...

I guess what I'm trying to say is there is a part of the male brain that never really matures past age twelve. It's just like the old man at my barn who laughs hysterically every time he refers to his horse as "CrapperBrains." Long story short, all guys possess some part of their twelve-year-old-self. It says a lot about who they used to be and still secretly are, which is not a bad thing.

Unfortunately, that is all the talk of Bieber Fever that I can handle, but I do have one last thing I would like to share with all of you.

I am an avid fan of the local radio stations. In fact, I cannot do without my music. Today, mixed in with all of the big hits were a few older love songs, no doubt for the benefit of those heartless romantics in the mood for a sappy love song. I am a big Lonestar fan. I think their music is touching, but I also think they are often overlooked. Here is the video that corresponds with not only the best song I heard all day, but a piece of art that everyone deserves to hear.

On that note, I leave you to go perfect the art of baking a flawless red velvet cake, and I hope each and every one of you dear readers has a great end to your February 14th.

Behinds

I have a question for you, Dear Readers. Why do certain young men feel that it is perfectly acceptable for them to walk around with their behinds hanging out? As this issue has been literally before my eyes the entire day, I have spent plenty of time thinking about it, and clearly I have no answer.

Today I attended an auction that was located not half an hour from my home. I am here to tell you that in this area of Central Illinois, you hardly ever see those that lean towards the ghetto side of things. Hicks, yes. Gangstas, not so much. For the most part, everyone dresses, talks, and acts decently. That being said, you can imagine my shock when entering the auction to see a whole group of behinds staring at me. Behinds. Not eyes, they were covered by smirks. Not smiles, they were hidden by the cigarettes. Not actual people, but some kind of mixture between human and demonized creature.

Granted these behinds were covered by sheer boxers, but still. The very fact that I know that these random dudes were wearing boxers is revolting. And the ironic part was that they were all wearing belts!!! What is that about? Whoever heard of wearing a belt around your knees? I just have to point out that if I was going to walk around in the frigid Illinois air with my rear end sticking out, which I am not planning on doing any time soon, I really would not bother with such an inconvenience as a belt!

But anyway… I might as well tell you that all of these young men, if you were to hose them down, strip, and redress them, would have been decent looking. In fact, I might even stretch that to attractive. But no. They’re too cool. Such a crime against society. It will be no surprise to you, then, that I kept my distance from these shadows in the crowd.

A few hours later, when returning to the auction, I realized that I had absolutely no choice but to walk directly past this crowd of behinds, but that was not the intimidating part. See, unusually I have absolutely no problem walking up to a perfect stranger, but apparently that’s only if they have a suitable clothing situation on their lower halves. It didn’t help that they were all staring at me.

Okay.

I’m younger.

I like to think I’m decent looking.

I’m alone.

I have no way of defending myself.

There’s one of me.

Four of them.

There’s no one else around.

Their eyes seemed to breath fire while their mouths steamed smoke.

I’m all about the bad boys, but that was just plain scary.

Yet, I mustered up boldness, carried on my planned course, held my head high, and avoided any eye contact whatsoever. But as I walked closer and closer to them, I could feel their eyes cutting into every inch of my body, and I could not help but shoot the very well practiced “Flip off!” glare in their direction. Here’s the thing: While giving them this silent warning, I happened to catch a glimpse of their faces. Beneath their sideways hats and oversized clothes, there stood four kids! Just like me and every other adolescent I know! One, however, stood out to me in particular: blond hair, blue eyes, tall, and (the most interesting part) he still had baby fat on his face. He reminded me very much of a certain someone a year ago, only with worse clothes and short hair. This made me realize that the guys that we standing before me were some mother’s babies! And there they were, definitely younger than I am, smoking, checking out random girls, with their rear ends hanging out! What happened to them? Here’s where appearance is everything comes into play. For all I know they could be smart and caring human beings, but no one would ever see that! Most of us would only see the hocus pocus of what’s apparently cool.

After making this two second realization in my own mind, I was now standing within a few feet of these, dare I say, people? The instinctual glare resumed it’s position locked deep inside the mind, only to be disturbed for other such important times, and to my surprise, a smile and a graceful, “Hey!” came flying out of my mouth! They all about jumped three feet in the air, obviously not expecting a girl to talk to them, and after clearing their throats and straightening up their stances said hi back in an all too macho way.

I wasn’t quite brave enough to stick around to have a conversation them, but I couldn’t help seeing them differently for the remainder of the day. That’s where my question comes in: Why do certain young men feel that it is perfectly acceptable for them to walk around with their behinds hanging out? It ruins everything. Had they been suitably dressed and adorned with a halfway inviting smile on their faces, they might have had the pleasure of conversing with the great and wonderful Sanity Mochas. What a loss! And if I, who does not consider herself to be a judgmental person, would shy away from them, think of the countless other opportunities they will continue to miss out on daily… all because their behinds are hanging right on out there for God and everybody to see. And I am here to tell you, if my own dear Prince Charming ever, and I mean ever, dresses himself in such an inappropriate fashion, I just might have to kill him. And no, not literally.  :)

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

What a gorgeous day! The sun is out and there is not a cloud in the sky. I emerged hesitantly from the house this morning, expecting to get hit by a burst of frigid air. What a pleasant surprise it was to find that I didn't even need a jacket! Everything looks full of life and I'm soaking up every instant of the warm weather, dreading the inevitable winter that is coming all too quickly.

I was shopping in Sam's Club the other day, and I couldn't help but notice how many people were already wearing Uggs! In the middle of December you would expect to see 95% of the female population wearing the all too expensive boots, but the first week in November? Shocking.

I am one of those people that will deny winter until the first decent snow. No coat. No hat. No mittens. Nope. "It's warm outside!" I say, while inwardly I'm about to freeze. The reality is simple: I'm a hot weather person. About April 1st I start digging out the shorts and flip flops (I freeze then too). During the entirety of the summer I lavish in the sweaty, balmy days, and my beautiful best friend nearly dies in the heat. However, once I finally admit that it is indeed winter, I'm bundled like an Eskimo, and she prances around in a light weight sweat shirt. In my opinion, our reactions are both slightly extreme. We make for quite a pair. ;)

Don't get me wrong; the seasons are beautiful. But winter? Why, oh why, of all things to be asked to endure, winter? I have to keep reminding myself that winter makes me appreciate the summer even more than I already do. That doesn't mean that I won't keep valiantly fighting against the reality that the bitter weather is coming, it just means that I will be very happy indeed when April 1st rolls around.

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility...

You find out lots of things when you're sick. For instance, I now know that the ceiling light in my room looks distinctly like a pig, and when the sun reaches it's zenith, the crystals that hang from my windows dance in the warmth like fairies. It was after 24 hours of realizations like these that I began to go stir crazy and decided to embark on a Spider Man marathon. I've seen all three movies individually, but had never really embraced them as my own. This time while watching the series I identified with the continuing thread. It is a single piece of advice given to Peter by his Uncle Ben: With great power comes great responsibility. These words significantly alter the course of life that Peter chooses and the decisions he makes as he becomes Spider Man.

Now obviously none of us are Spider Man; however, it dawned on me that this advice is incredibly true and is applicable to everyone. Whether or not we choose to acknowledge it, we all have power in one form or another. For instance, we have the power to influence our own decisions and to develop our characters the way we see fit. This brings about the responsibility to use our personalities and resources for the better. Just as easily we can be unconsciously detrimental to those around us. Who hasn't at one point or another been affected by a random person who you happen to pass in daily life? This could have been a person who gave you a kind glance and bolstered up your confidence, or it could be a jerk who cut you off and made you spill your amazing mocha. Either way, you were affected, and both were equally as memorable. The power we have is vast and insatiable.

Some people spend their whole lives chasing the wind, trying to attain a more substantial life. But honestly, is their power going to increase? Are the people they affect going to remember them in a good way if their only goal is to be bigger and better than everyone else regardless of who is in their way? Hardly! Its is the little people that can make a big difference in this world. Remember: With great power comes great responsibility. So it got me thinking... what will I be responsible for today?

Needless to say, I have become a closet Spider Man fan. Shhhh.... don't tell the girls!        

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna

June 15, 2010 marks the day that musical artists Rihanna and Eminem released their newest single, “Love the Way You Lie.” Within days of its release, this #1 hit single climbed the musical charts and was being downloaded onto millions of iPods and MP3 players for indefatigable listening purposes. Over and over the lyrics of this song streamed into young minds. Although the sensation was widespread, the true meaning of the song lies beneath the surface. In late summer 2010 the music video, featuring Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan, was also released. This not only increased the song’s popularity, it also shed some light into the deeper meaning of the seemingly typical rap incantation.

The song begins with an emotional solo by Rihanna disclosing the overall feeling of the verses. She begins, “Just gonna stand there and watch me burn/ that’s alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry/ that’s alright because I love the way you lie.” Eminem’s harsher vocals envelop the mind into an immediate feeling of insecurity and paint a new scene, one that is filled with hate, and it is obvious that both individuals in the relationship are confused and raging. Domestic violence is hinted towards; however, deep repentance is also expressed. Then the artist explains how the relationship has changed from having “warm fuzzy feelings, getting chills used to get em” to being “sick of lookin at em… now you’re in each other’s face spewin venom in your words when you spit em,” and again abuse is described in a manner that alludes to a vicious cycle. In the last verse Eminem entreats his lover to stay and makes promises to change even though he knows what he says is a lie. Rihanna intercedes with the chorus telling that it’s “alright because I love the way you lie,” implying that she too recognizes the patterns. Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan represent the characters in the music video and portray the highs and lows of the situation to coincide with the powerful lyrics.

In many ways the lyrics mirror instances in the artists’ own lives. After Rihanna’s experience with Chris Brown in February of 2009, she is well familiarized with domestic violence. Eminem is also no stranger to the ways of malevolence after he allegedly abused his wife, Kim Mathers, in 2006. Throughout the music video Rihanna is placed in middle of a burning building with ruins all around her, while Eminem stands in an open field surrounded by a seemingly peaceful atmosphere. The vast contrast between the background scenes shows the effects that their personal situations had on them. The contrast could symbolize how unaffected Eminem is by the whole concept of abuse, whereas Rihanna is deeply affected by her hellish surroundings. Her piercing eyes seem to be out of tears, replaced with hate and the room is literally crumbling down around her. To both artists this music video, immersed in fire, was obviously something much more personal than “just another song.”

Every fire needs fuel. In the case of Fox and Monaghan’s characters, this fuel was jealousy. The initial fight in the music video is caused by Monaghan having another woman’s number written on his hand. Notice, though, that is was not the man who made the initial physical move. On the contrary, Fox was the one to attack Monaghan. Although Monaghan’s reaction was far beyond self-defense, it was clear, as Eminem stated in the lyrics, that her “temper’s just as bad as mine is,” she’s “the same as me.” He also uses the perfect illustration when he says, “that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.” The reaction turns into an explosion that is so immense that neither knows how to handle it. However, Fox isn’t as innocent as one might think. By conscientiously flirting with a man in a bar, she gives Monaghan another reason to provoke a physical match not only with her, but also with the innocent man. Repeatedly, the violent behavior was caused by jealousy.

The feelings of intense hate that Monaghan and Fox have are countered by a passion that is convincing enough to hold both together. The display in the music video puts one in mind of a person attempting to conquer a drug addiction. The harder they try to pull away the stronger the temptation becomes and neither are strong enough to overcome it. Eminem describes it as being “high on a love/ drunk from the hate.”  They admit how controversial their love is when he says, “It’s so insane/ cause when it’s goin’ good its goin’ great/ I’m Superman with the wind in his back/ she’s Lois Lane/ but when its bad it’s awful.” This is symbolized by scenes in which Monaghan and Fox look equally happy and content, contrasted by the fiery vengeance that is also portrayed. The continual surroundings of fire in the video represent how destructive their bond is to each other. They are playing with fire, literally but also metaphorically. When either one tries to break away, they are pulled back by a force that could be attributed mostly to infatuation or possibly legitimate love. Either way feelings of extreme love and hate change from minute to minute.

Most teens would probably agree that “Love the Way You Lie” is an incredible musical composition that represents the new age of modern music. One tends to wonder how much of the song these starstruck teens truly understand. The complexity of the song represented through the music video is far beyond the average listener’s thought, not because they’re deficient but because they often haven’t taken the initiative to consider intricacy of the relationship depicted. “Love the Way You Lie” is the epitome of a toxic relationship and serves as a bold statement in the way of domestic violence that merits attention from audiences everywhere.

Return of Childhood Obsessions

There are certain things in life that you automatically discard by age 12 because they are no longer socially acceptable among your peers. For me this included getting rid of my stuffed animals that ferociously guarded me for years while I slept. When the time came, they were packed away in tubs; somehow this seemed much more humane than giving them to Goodwill. There they patiently slept for quite some time, waiting to be loved. I honestly forgot about most of them until a good friend of mine gave me the cuddle bug again, the need to have something to hold onto when I sleep. So down I trod into the basement to dig up these stuffed animals. The first thing I noticed was how they had lost their 'loved on' smell and they smelled like a wet basement. Yet, I brought my three favorite upstairs to reclaim their position as my bed sentinels.

Ok, here's the thing... when I was 7 a dozen stuffed things in my bed was comforting; now it's just flat disturbing. For the sake of my sanity, I had to narrow it down to one partner, Emily. She is a Golden Retriever puppy with a green collar covered in little bones. Adorable!

This same friend of mine who gave me the cuddle bug surprised me with a new addition to my collection. He is a teddy bear named Alex (the bear;) and he wears sacred colors... orange and blue! (Go Illini!) I must say he is a very good snuggler, and he smells amazing! It's astounding how little it takes to make a girl's day and how childhood obsessions that seemed so uncool only a few short years ago can all of a sudden be unbelievably comforting once again.

Silly Bandz vs. Leather Bracelets

There are two types of girls: those that wear silly bandz and those who rock out a leather bracelet. Reasons for the particular girl's choice vary. Those who wear silly bands either a) actually think they're cool, b) wear them because everyone else does, or c) they were cheap at dollar general, so, why not? All of these girls are widely accepted and viewed as sweet, normal, gurly girls. On the other hand, when someone sees a girl with a leather bracelet they immediately come to the conclusion that they are definitely a punk who has serious problems and cannot be trusted.  I have a clarification to make on behalf of teenage girls everywhere. Consider the following: a girl with a leather bracelet very well might be a a) punk rock/edgy chick, b) a stereotypical hard core poser, or c) she just might have a boyfriend!!! Then what happens when you see a girl with Silly Bandz AND a leather bracelet? Is the assumption that she is a gurly girl with issues??? Or is she just a gurly girl with a boyfriend??? hmmm.... That is up to personal assessment and the viewer's outlook.

I am not at liberty to say of which general category I fall into, however I can say this: Don't judge a book by it's cover... you may miss out on the story of a lifetime.

Inspired

Every great writer needs inspiration. Ten percent of that inspiration is the people that encourage you to continue, 40 percent comes from the things you choose to write about, and 50 percent is having a great writer to model and to learn from.

Here's my inspiration:

10%- You know who you are.

40%- The only things I ever write about are the things that I see everyday, such as Mocha Frappuccinos and horses.

50%- I was introduced to my favorite writer, a poet actually, in the second grade. His name is Robert Frost, a perfect example of someone who only wrote about what he knew. Frost has been described as an ordinary man intensified. Upon first glance his work may seem rudimentary, for his favorite subjects are things that you and I may see or be a part of daily. Yet his wisdom reflects someone who is here, been, and gone. When reading Frost's work you are being let into a much deeper world than that of the ordinary poet. Frost judges, but rarely condemns; he is fundamentally serious, but never pompous.  He accepts the world's contradictions without being crushed by them. In one of his most recent poems, The Lesson for Today, he concludes:

And were an epitaph to be my story
I'd have a short one ready for my own
I would have written of me on my stone
I had a lover's quarrel with the world.

"I had a lover's quarrel with the world." No reviewer has written, none will write, a more accurate summary of the poet's spirit. On another account Frost said of himself, "There are two types of realist. There is the one who offers a good deal of dirt with his potato to show that it is a real potato. And there is the one who is satisfied with the potato brushed clean. I am inclined to be the second kind. To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form." Frost's writing always displays the principle of "the clean potato". He isn't afraid to call it like he sees it and he most certainly has an unforgettable impact on his readers.

Cleverness, imagination, ingenuity, inventiveness, originality, resourcefulness, talent, and vision. These are all words that can easily be linked with true inspiration. You know where I find mine. What is yours?