365 days ago... What a powerful set of words. A whole year. That seems like forever when you think of it as 8,760 hours or 525,600 seconds. But I'm not choosing to think about a year as forever. It really is only 12 months, four short seasons. That hardly seems like enough time to accomplish all of the things that "a year" should contain. Happiness. Excitement! Love. Pain. But most of all a year should contain memories. Memories are the bones of a lifetime.
Me, I've made the last year of my life... well, memorable. Not necessarily in a good way, but the year's events have definitely shaped the bones of my figurative being. But, oh the lessons I've learned!
365 days ago I was lying in the bed of our local ER. It was the day before my birthday and my little sister had inadvertently damaged a nerve in my neck, an accident that still presents complications. I remember being transferred from one bed to an x-ray table, back to the bed, then to another x-ray table. Every time my neck moved in the slightest I wanted to scream from the pain, but I did not let the siring electric wires in my neck bubble forth in any other form than silent tears that ran down my cheeks in a steady flow and caused all the nurses to whisper when they thought I couldn't hear. I was mostly crying because of the pain, but also because of a feeling that had grown inside of me for months, fostered by bad, bad, bad association. At the time, I couldn't have told you that feeling meant, but I can now. It was emptiness. I cried over things that I thought I wanted even though I honestly didn't even know what I was asking for.
Anyway, after the hospital staff finally determined that strong pain killers would mask the pain long enough for the muscles in my neck to stop going into uncontrollable spasms, me and my mother drove around for hours trying to find a 24 hour pharmacy. You'd be surprised just how many pharmacies close at ten. However, we finally did find one, and I spent the next few days, including my birthday, floating in and out of extreme laxness and unconsciousness.
You know, I don't really think I ever came out of that laxness. I became lax about my friends, my attitude, my morals. But 365 days later, I can tell you that I am very much concious. Neither does my neck hurt, nor do tears are fall from my eyes. The drugs have finally worn off. Finally!
Now, for that which I really wanted to tell you. I accomplished something today! Something that seems like the best, most satisfying thing in the entire world. Are you ready for this?
With the patient and loving assistance of my fabulous big sis, I perfected the art of parallel parking! What can I say? I'm a complete and total geek! (Not a dork...;) But having something to be proud of, no matter how small, seems like the only thing I could possibly ask for.
Could it be that the only thing I really need to find is an accomplishment in every day? Hmm.. Interesting. Now I'm intrigued. What did you accomplish today? How about tomorrow?
I would love to tell you that for the next 365 days I will write to you everyday and tell you what I've accomplished in life, but I can't. The only thing I can guarantee is that the 525,600 seconds of my life are going to be filled with contentment. It's a word that means being satisfied with having nothing more exciting to blog about than parallel parking. It's a word that means trying hard to keep your life simple, to the point, purposeful. It's a word that leads to true happiness.
Contentment means taking each day for what it's worth.
With that said, tomorrow is going to be a great day. I get to visit my ponies, and I get to hang out with my lovely grandmother. Life is good. :)
4.24.2011
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By:
sanitymochas
4.14.2011
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By:
sanitymochas
Yesterday
Yesterday was the first day she took Thunder out on trails alone. Yesterday she found out what it is to experience true pain.
Yesterday my stomach muscles got a thorough workout as I strained against the back-and-forth motion of my Grandma's rusty lawn mower. Yesterday I was kissed by the sun.
Yesterday she felt her adrenaline beating through the ends of her toes.
Yesterday was a good day, for me.
But for her, it was the start of never ending ride, whose haunting eyes will follow her always.
The wind was blowing the strands of her salt and pepper hair in swirls that had escaped the confines of her helmet and pony tail. She smiled as the the sun hit her face. She knew in this fresh light the freckles she had tried to conceal in her younger days would be more prominent than ever, and she didn't care. The only souls to care about her blemishes were herself and of course, Thunder, who was walking languidly after their hour long lesson.
The first truly warm day of the season. She might have even classified it as hot if it weren't for the gentle breeze that moved the delicate branches of the newly budding trees. Thunder had been ornery today. The warm weather had molded his usually patient attitude into on of something like defiance. Not the the vicious kind, but the intolerant kind. He didn't want to work, and he had let her know by spooking, jumping, and bolting past everything he could discern outside of the area walls. But that was over now. They had ended the lesson on a good note. Not great, but good.
Now they walked around in the luscious front pasture. The instructor had left. The other boarders had left. Alone at last. Her cell phone, which was sure to be buzzing incessantly, had been abandoned in the right cup-holder of her car. The world had been left behind, and it felt wonderful! The constant rustle of grass under Thunder's hooves were the perfect rhythm to extinguish the last of her concerns, at least for the moment.
But then something was wrong. Instead of a comforting rhythm, Thunder's hooves produced a sporadic, unsettling beat, and ever so slightly he heaved underneath of her. He was obvious trying to get the point across that strolling in the pasture all alone was not his idea of relaxing. Nevertheless, she kicked him on, but she couldn't help the nervous feeling in her stomach growing into what felt like a baseball. She felt her shoulders fall forward as he no longer danced underneath of her, but leaped in the air, a motion that curved sideways, forward, and toward the sky all at once. Her confidence was most definitely shaken, and she took his hint. She turned his head towards the barn, and the rest of his body followed in tune. But instead of settling him, it only made him fight the bit even more. He tried to run through her hands, but she wouldn't let him.
From a bystanders perspective, she probably looked like the typical beginner. Sky high heels, slumped shoulders, weakened core, and too tight and too high hands. A disaster in the making.
Thunder, on the other hand, gave the persona of a pro. He was going back to the barn, even if that meant loosing a hundred pounds or so off the sway of his back.
He picked up a jog that fell more like a stationary bounce. "Easy," she said, but the nervousness in her seat did anything but calm Thunder. "WHOAH!" she yelled this time, her voice cracking with fear. The reins in her hands jerked against what was obviously Thunder's teeth, and he retaliated by lunging into a full blown buck. Her balance was immediately thrown off kilter and she desperately grabbed for something, anything that would save her fall. Thunder utilized every ounce of power underneath his monstrous body to project into another buck, even more massive than before. Unbeknown to him, he would have only had to sidestep in the opposite direction, and she would have liberated him to his own devices. All the same, she fell. A very short fall. She didn't even have time to realize she was falling really, until she hit the ground. She felt her ankles give way beneath her, and she tipped forward only to find the world go green beneath her. Grass. Thunder was already half way to the barn, showing no signs of coming back. There was only one thing to do. Get up! She tried, but her feet weren't there! But that was impossible. Of course they were there! Then she saw the blood, and she began to doubt her certainty.
This story is non-fiction, embellished by my own imagination, but it is fact. The only problem is, I can't begin to imagine the rest, but I can tell you the plain facts.
Finding no other way to recieve help, this woman drug herself on all fours across the pasture, which is easily the size of a football field; down the barn isle and into the lounge, where she attempted to use the emergency cell phone. But rather than dialing "911," she accidentally dialed "911*911," which of course did not go through. Instead of trying again, she drug herself to her saddle bag where her keys lay, and back down the barn isle, across the gravel, and into the parking lot where her car sat undisturbed. It is truly a miracle that she did not bleed to death along the way. Either that or pass out from the pain. She called the barn manager, who was on her way home but unable to answer, and her husband, who was an hour away. Then she collapsed in a heap, her knees in the gravel, her head descending below it.
By the time the ambulance arrived, it was obvious both of her legs had been broken. Her left leg was in pieces, most of which were visible through the tattered mess of flesh surrounding them. She has spent the last twenty-four hours in intensive care.
I tell you this story, Dear Reader, with only one intention in mind: to remind you of the dangers of our beloved sport. Horses are horses. We love them, but they will do stupid things. It is spring time! They have been cooped up in the barn all winter and are undoubtedly slightly heard bound. Ride with someone the first few times you go out on trails! And never, ever ride without a cell phone.
No one ever thinks anything bad is going to happen to them. She didn't. I don't. Remind those you love by linking this story to your Twitter, Facebook, or Blog. Remind them that we shouldn't take our life for granted. We only have one.
Yesterday my stomach muscles got a thorough workout as I strained against the back-and-forth motion of my Grandma's rusty lawn mower. Yesterday I was kissed by the sun.
Yesterday she felt her adrenaline beating through the ends of her toes.
Yesterday was a good day, for me.
But for her, it was the start of never ending ride, whose haunting eyes will follow her always.
The wind was blowing the strands of her salt and pepper hair in swirls that had escaped the confines of her helmet and pony tail. She smiled as the the sun hit her face. She knew in this fresh light the freckles she had tried to conceal in her younger days would be more prominent than ever, and she didn't care. The only souls to care about her blemishes were herself and of course, Thunder, who was walking languidly after their hour long lesson.
The first truly warm day of the season. She might have even classified it as hot if it weren't for the gentle breeze that moved the delicate branches of the newly budding trees. Thunder had been ornery today. The warm weather had molded his usually patient attitude into on of something like defiance. Not the the vicious kind, but the intolerant kind. He didn't want to work, and he had let her know by spooking, jumping, and bolting past everything he could discern outside of the area walls. But that was over now. They had ended the lesson on a good note. Not great, but good.
Now they walked around in the luscious front pasture. The instructor had left. The other boarders had left. Alone at last. Her cell phone, which was sure to be buzzing incessantly, had been abandoned in the right cup-holder of her car. The world had been left behind, and it felt wonderful! The constant rustle of grass under Thunder's hooves were the perfect rhythm to extinguish the last of her concerns, at least for the moment.
But then something was wrong. Instead of a comforting rhythm, Thunder's hooves produced a sporadic, unsettling beat, and ever so slightly he heaved underneath of her. He was obvious trying to get the point across that strolling in the pasture all alone was not his idea of relaxing. Nevertheless, she kicked him on, but she couldn't help the nervous feeling in her stomach growing into what felt like a baseball. She felt her shoulders fall forward as he no longer danced underneath of her, but leaped in the air, a motion that curved sideways, forward, and toward the sky all at once. Her confidence was most definitely shaken, and she took his hint. She turned his head towards the barn, and the rest of his body followed in tune. But instead of settling him, it only made him fight the bit even more. He tried to run through her hands, but she wouldn't let him.
From a bystanders perspective, she probably looked like the typical beginner. Sky high heels, slumped shoulders, weakened core, and too tight and too high hands. A disaster in the making.
Thunder, on the other hand, gave the persona of a pro. He was going back to the barn, even if that meant loosing a hundred pounds or so off the sway of his back.
He picked up a jog that fell more like a stationary bounce. "Easy," she said, but the nervousness in her seat did anything but calm Thunder. "WHOAH!" she yelled this time, her voice cracking with fear. The reins in her hands jerked against what was obviously Thunder's teeth, and he retaliated by lunging into a full blown buck. Her balance was immediately thrown off kilter and she desperately grabbed for something, anything that would save her fall. Thunder utilized every ounce of power underneath his monstrous body to project into another buck, even more massive than before. Unbeknown to him, he would have only had to sidestep in the opposite direction, and she would have liberated him to his own devices. All the same, she fell. A very short fall. She didn't even have time to realize she was falling really, until she hit the ground. She felt her ankles give way beneath her, and she tipped forward only to find the world go green beneath her. Grass. Thunder was already half way to the barn, showing no signs of coming back. There was only one thing to do. Get up! She tried, but her feet weren't there! But that was impossible. Of course they were there! Then she saw the blood, and she began to doubt her certainty.
This story is non-fiction, embellished by my own imagination, but it is fact. The only problem is, I can't begin to imagine the rest, but I can tell you the plain facts.
Finding no other way to recieve help, this woman drug herself on all fours across the pasture, which is easily the size of a football field; down the barn isle and into the lounge, where she attempted to use the emergency cell phone. But rather than dialing "911," she accidentally dialed "911*911," which of course did not go through. Instead of trying again, she drug herself to her saddle bag where her keys lay, and back down the barn isle, across the gravel, and into the parking lot where her car sat undisturbed. It is truly a miracle that she did not bleed to death along the way. Either that or pass out from the pain. She called the barn manager, who was on her way home but unable to answer, and her husband, who was an hour away. Then she collapsed in a heap, her knees in the gravel, her head descending below it.
By the time the ambulance arrived, it was obvious both of her legs had been broken. Her left leg was in pieces, most of which were visible through the tattered mess of flesh surrounding them. She has spent the last twenty-four hours in intensive care.
I tell you this story, Dear Reader, with only one intention in mind: to remind you of the dangers of our beloved sport. Horses are horses. We love them, but they will do stupid things. It is spring time! They have been cooped up in the barn all winter and are undoubtedly slightly heard bound. Ride with someone the first few times you go out on trails! And never, ever ride without a cell phone.
No one ever thinks anything bad is going to happen to them. She didn't. I don't. Remind those you love by linking this story to your Twitter, Facebook, or Blog. Remind them that we shouldn't take our life for granted. We only have one.
4.08.2011
|
By:
sanitymochas
Baby Doll
I have big news. Something happened less than forty eight hours ago that simply doesn't happen everyday. A new creature was brought into this world, a baby girl. She's an absolute doll, which is how she came to be called Dollie, and she's already too big for me to hold in my arms. She has beautiful red hair, an admirable feature, and kind brown eyes that scream for attention. If she would just stand still, I'm sure you would think she was plastic. She's the perfect baby doll!
I must say that I the hour I had allowed to groom, tack, and ride T-Pony this morning before I left for a long weekend in a suburb of Chicago was not entirely spent on riding. In fact, most of that time I spent on the floor of a stall, stroking Dollie's neck as she fell asleep on her mother's hay.
Isn't she the cutest, littlest, sweetest thing you've ever seen? The very fact that she literally fell asleep in my arms is enough to melt my heart.
For those of you who don't know horses, it is NOT normal for a two-day-old filly to be so comfortable with humans as to fall asleep in their arms. Dollie is the exception to the rule, and I love it!
So dear readers, you see... You are never too old to fall asleep dreaming of your baby doll!
I must say that I the hour I had allowed to groom, tack, and ride T-Pony this morning before I left for a long weekend in a suburb of Chicago was not entirely spent on riding. In fact, most of that time I spent on the floor of a stall, stroking Dollie's neck as she fell asleep on her mother's hay.
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| Lovely Ladies |
Isn't she the cutest, littlest, sweetest thing you've ever seen? The very fact that she literally fell asleep in my arms is enough to melt my heart.
For those of you who don't know horses, it is NOT normal for a two-day-old filly to be so comfortable with humans as to fall asleep in their arms. Dollie is the exception to the rule, and I love it!
So dear readers, you see... You are never too old to fall asleep dreaming of your baby doll!
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