Living and Dying and Breathing and Laughing (all at the same time)

I give up! Life was so much easier when I was 12! Not saying that I want to go back, but wow! Life is even more insane and unpredictable than what everyone said! Here's what I say... Life is a game of chance. Sometimes you win. Most of the time you lose. And when you do lose, you pick yourself up and play again, right? Like any true gambler. I lost, okay? I get that. And here's where my next gamble begins. I want to... Cry? Laugh? Breathe? Shower? Eat Sushi? Bake cupcakes? Read a tearjerker? Hijack a car? Grab a mocha? Disappear for a few days? Laugh again? The fact is, I have no idea. My mind is a mess of thoughts that I've decided don't have to make a lot of sense right now. Long term, though, I need a list! A list of all the things I need and want to do in this world so that everybody knows I was here-- my Bucket List of sorts, except not, because I'm invincible; my would-be Mission Impossible List if I believed in the impossible; I guess it's just going to be called my life.

I'm LivingInFeverishExpectation of:

1. Blogging more
2. Drinking better coffee
3. Learning to snowboard
4. Seeing an actual set of human remains!!
5. Having a book on the Best-Seller list
6. Drinking a Mocha in the Oval Office.
7. Watching the sunset set from under the Eiffel Tower
8. Driving at Nascar
9. Getting a tan in the middle of winter
10. Burying a treasure chest
11. Digging up the treasure chest 50 years later
12. Making love on an airplane
13. Sitting on Abe Lincoln's big toe
14. Walking around town with LOSER stamped on my head
15. Giving birth
16. Meeting the Queen of England
17. Watching the 75th Anniversary of The Phantom of the Opera LIVE with my BFF
18. Eating pizza in Italy
19. Rubbing an authentic Buddha's belly
20. Making sushi in Japan
21. Petting a deer
22. Making friends with a blind person
23. Taking cooking classes in Paris
24. Watching an infant turn into an adult
25. Loving unconditionally
26. Finding someone who makes me feel safe always
27. Getting to the top of the Empire State Building
28. Riding the biggest roller coaster in the world
29. Petting a giraffe
30. Kissing a tiger
31. Taking comfort in knowing the Truth
32. Coming to peace with my past
33. Finding a way to forgive
34. Trusting a stranger
35. Making love in a Starbucks bathroom
36. Kissing a fool
37. And maybe a couple of frogs
38. Finding a prince
39. Learning to give more than I take
40. Taking a picture inside the second O of the HOLLYWOOD sign
41. Swimming in the ocean
42. Ice skating in Central Park
43. Living in the city
44. Going to the Olympics
45. Meeting the most powerful man alive
46. Being Belle in Disneyland for a summer
47. Having a Motown party
48. Giving an advocacy speech for children with Down-Syndrome
49. Learning another language
50. Teaching a whole class of third-graders how to understand long division
51. Being on a game show
52. Writing a letter to the President
53. Being in a movie
54. Making someone happy
55. Touching someone's heart
56. Seeing a crime scene
57. Wishing upon a shooting star
58. Staying at the Palmer House and pretend I'm Rose from Titanic
58. Meeting my Jack.
59. Learning to like melons.
60. Going on a serious spending spree
61. Owning an iPhone
62. Getting kissed at the top of the Statue of Liberty
63. Eating lunch at the top of the Saint Louis Arch
64. Raising a child
65. Doing relief work in a third world country
66. Building a deck
67. Starting a book club
68. Leading a hike
69. Getting to the top of Mount Everest
70. Getting back down from the top of Mount Everest
71. Riding a stallion
72. Writing a poem that rhymes
73. Going sledding behind a horse
74. Never doubting my self-evidence
75. Never looking back
76. Never forgetting the ones who love me
77. Making homemade doughnuts
78. Challenging Martha Stewart to a bake off 
79. Working for Cake Boss
80. Having my own cupcake business
81. Having a giant murder board for plotting the best stuff out
82. Editing a book
83. Managing a store
84. Leading an escapade
85. Understanding the meaning of selfish
86. Spending the night in the desert
87. Meeting a former slave
88. Touring the Underground Railroad
89. Planting a garden
90. Spending a week in silence
91. Learning to drive a cemi-truck
92. Convincing my grandpa that girls can so drive tractors!!!
93. Dreaming bigger
94. Thinking louder
95. Speaking less
96. Listening more
97. Posing for a portrait
98. Running away for three weeks
99. Loving a hero
100. Loving myself


P.S.... There is this video competition sponsored by the Down Syndrome Research and Treatment Foundation, and I entered a piece entitled "Pointing The Reins". I intended to capture my sister's beauty, her potential, her ability to love and to learn, as well as the complexity of our relationship as sisters. (K-Pony's in it too!) There's two awards to be presented: Judges' Choice and Viewers' Choice... If so inspired, please follow this link to my YouTube Channel and press "like"!!!