3.28.2011 | By: sanitymochas

Spring Fever

Don't you just love springtime in Illinois? All of these hot/cold weather teasers to keep us on our toes.

But I have to be honest. Springtime has never been my favorite season. I'm a fall-time kind of girl. I love the cool nights that come as a relief after the scorching summer heat, the smell of diesel as the combines and semis kick into full gear, the late night campfires, the colors of the changing leaves. It's a truly magical time of year.

Is it possible that I've never loved Spring because I've never had the opportunity to be outside and enjoy it? For the last X-amount of years, I've been stuck inside, slaving away after my studies. I do believe this is the first time in my life I have been literally forced into the elements, way before my mental alarm clock begins to ring.

Ahh.... Hormonal mares, knee-high mud, spring shots, studdy yearlings... the joys of "horsehood" in March. It's a beautiful thing.

I can handle hormonal mares. They'll soon be somewhat back to normal and bring another amazing creature into existence.

The mud proves to be an ongoing nuisance, but then again, isn't that why God invented muck-boots?

Studdy yearlings... Let's just say that they've settled dramatically since their brain surgery.

You'd think I could handle all of the glitches of springtime.

But I must say, this spring shot thing has me stumped. Mandatory vaccinations include West Nile, 5-Way, and Strangles. Done. I understand. These are real viruses that effect horses locally.

Then there is such a thing as a "preference shot." These include Rabies and the Potomac Horse Fever.

Honestly, when was the last occurrence of a horse infected with Rabies? I've been around the horse world for over 1/2 my life and have NEVER heard of such a thing. On the flip side, if my horse is the first to be infected to my knowledge, he will die. There is no cure, no treatment. D-E-A-D. That's just all there is to it.  So what to do? Take the chance that K-pony will be the first? Or take the chance that no rabid raccoons will come bounding out of the woods, determined to take a chunk out of my horse?

I'm a risk-taker, but my horse's life is one thing that I've never taken lightly. Therefore, I have always, always vaccinated for rabies. It's never been an issue for me.

Today was spring-shot-day. K-pony was injected with mandatory+rabies vaccines. Then the attending vet suggested very strongly that everyone vaccinate for the Potomac Horse Fever. But it is, after all, a preference shot. Believe it or not, this is one decision I've never before run across.

The way I understand it, the virus is transmitted by May flies laying eggs in your horse's water. I don't know if you've noticed, but Illinois is filled to the brim with May flies in May. However, the vaccine does not prevent the virus. It merely reduces the severity of the case, given your horse is even infected in the first place. The disease can be deadly, but not always. There is treatment, but it is not 100% effective. Also, there has not been many cases of Potomac reported in the area... but IT'S ON THE RISE!!!! (Isn't it always something?)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but couldn't "less severe" still be deadly? And wouldn't you notice if your horse broke out in a high, high fever?  You would think so, but what a toss up!

Would you risk it with someone or something you loved?

I did. I risked it. I did not vaccinate for the Potomac Horse Fever. If I made the wrong choice, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself, but I honestly don't think I did. Given the precautions that have already been implemented at my stable, I've made the mental choice to assume things will be fine, and not think about the "what-ifs" in the situation.

Whew! It's hard to imagine that a simple day in March would bring such a weighty decision.

Random side note: As you all have probably already deduced by now, I would advocate from here to the moon and back for my baby sister, who has Down Syndrome. Do you know what's more encouraging than anything else? To see another sibling of a child with disabilities sticking up for what's right and appreciating their true beauty.

Check out this incredible video.



I hope Sarah Grace and all other children with Downs will someday realize how fortunate they are to have people around them who will always be there to love them, support them, and (in Sarah Grace's case) make great music for them.
3.27.2011 | By: sanitymochas

Bubbly

You know what's really sad? Smelling like Orbit Bubblemint.

Yep, the gum.

Why, you might ask, do I smell like Bubblemint?

Because, I tell you, the new Catwalk shampoo, which is supposed to be incredibly moisturizing for curly hair, smells like Bubblemint.

You know what's even more sad? Smelling, if only faintly, of horse 24/7.

For the last eight years, I have kept a strict rule that when I come home from the barn, I shower immediately. I love the smell of a horse... in a barn. Not so much while I'm lounging around in sweat pants or sipping my Toffee Mocha. This rule has not changed, but for some reason the pungent smell of hay bales and sawdust have decided to lodge  themselves between my fingernails, at the very roots of my hair, and deep within the callouses of my hands.

Note that this is NOT a complaint. I love being at the barn everyday. I love hearing twenty horses munching happily at their breakfasts before I have my own. I love the simple pleasures in my life, the things that make me smile, the things that never change.

I love to cook. I love to bake even more. It is another thing that will never change. No matter what, if you follow the recipe, something delicious is bound to result.   

I HATE chocolate chips cookies. I do believe in the cookie monster. It's the thing that comes and flattens my chocolate chip cookies every stink'n time! It's the thing that interprets my cookies as pancakes instead.

Anywho, I think over the course of the last four months, I have baked/cooked almost everything imaginable. Baking has always proved to be highly therapeutic for me. It is when I do my best thinking.

But wouldn't you think I could have been programed to think while running? Or while engaging in some sort of exercise?

Having fresh produce, freshly baked goods, and at least one delicious meal constantly before my eyes has had a surprisingly undesirable affect on my lovely lady lumps. So I've decided. Only one batch of baked goods every week. That's a good place to start. But that darn raspberry truffle cake is calling my name... SILENCE!

Sigh. 

You know your life is officially dull when the voices in your head happen to be food items.
3.07.2011 | By: sanitymochas

Learn

My extensive research into Hitler's regime has blossomed into a full twelve page research paper. More specifically, I looked into the pathology of Hitler; how he went from innocent baby to fascist dictator. It turned out to be quite an interesting topic. So interesting, in fact, that I feel the need to share my paper with all of you dear readers. 

Learn and enjoy!


Inner Workings of Adolf Hitler


Some have seen him as an opportunist entirely without principal, barren of all ideas save one - the further extension of his own power and that of the nation with which he had identified himself. Others have seen him as a type of political conman, hypnotizing and bewitching the German people. Then there are those who would say he was demonic, a lunatic or just plain mad.” (Adolf Hitler Changes Europe)

 

Adolf Hitler: dictator, lunatic, mass murderer. There are countless words in the English language that are frequently used to describe Adolf Hitler. Perhaps you’ve noticed, though, that his actions during World War II are hardly ever referred to as humane. In fact, most people would sum up Hitler’s actions during the genocide against the Jews in one simple word: insane. In an attempt to exterminate all Jews and other small groups, such as Jehovah’s Witnesses and gypsies, Hitler ordered the deaths of over 46,000,000 Europeans, most of whom were tortured at Concentration Camps before being brutally put to death (“Adolf Hitler Killer”). Shamelessly accepting full responsibility, Hitler said, “I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord." (Mein Kampf 46)

               It is clear from research of Hitler's early and mid-life history that he learned to be cold and heartless early on from the people that surrounded him. In this essay, I will provide a brief overview of two key periods in Hitler's life that may have led to his lunacy during the holocaust and his role as leader of the Nazi Regime

               Through careful examination of the multiple theories that exist concerning what drove Hitler to his role as a fascist dictator, it is clear that his movements during World War II were not completely without cause. Though there can be no possible excuse for the some 46,000,000 murders that were committed under his rule, it is clear that the years of internal conflict preceding his role as dictator may have been behind much of Hitler's evil pathology.

               Perhaps the first example of non-solicited violence Hitler encountered in his personal life came from his own father. The brutality was maliciously directed towards young Adolf; his younger sister, Paula; and his mother, Klara, whom he loved dearly. After coping with his father's alcohol-driven physical abuse for many years, Hitler advanced into his teenage years as a troubled individual. He spent most of his time in fantasy, dreaming about becoming a famous painter and architect but neglecting his formal educational duties as a student. His French teacher, Dr. Huemer, testified at Hitler's trial in 1924 saying of Adolf:
He was decidedly gifted, if one-sided, but had difficulty controlling his temper. He was considered intractable and willful, always had to be right and easily flew off the handle, and he clearly found it difficult to accommodate himself to the limits of a school. He demanded unconditional subordination from his schoolmates. ("Adolf Hitler: Biography" 2)
               Clearly by the time Hitler was expected to maintain composure within any type of social setting, his vies of other people and their position in regards himself had already been broken to an unfixable gradation.
               Also, because of Hitler's inability to focus on the importance of formal education, he dropped out of school at age eighteen and convinced his mother to finance his attempt to study art in Vienna; however, he failed the entrance exam twice, and his dreams of becoming an artist were crushed ("Adolf Hitler: Biography" 3). Shortly after this major disappointment, his mother, possibly the only woman he ever truly loved, died, and Hitler sunk into a deep depression. He took to living on the streets of Vienna, which was the most anti-Semitic city in the world ("Adolf Hiter:Biography" 6).
               It was no doubt while living among the troubled people of the streets that Hitler's contempt for Jews fermented into hatred. By age 24 Hitler was unemployed, uneducated, friendless, loveless, and prospect-less. He had become an embittered loner ("Adolf Hitler: Biography" 5). Against all odds, this seemingly powerless man transformed into the most well known dictator in the world within merely four years and was clearly capable of misleading an entire nation with only his alluring words to his advantage.

.                       .                       .

I owe it to that period of time that I grew hard. In this period there took shape within me a word picture and a philosophy, which becomes the granite foundation of all my acts. In addition to what I then created, I have had to learn little, and I have had to alter nothing. Vienna was and remained for me the hardest, but also the most thorough school of my life. (Mein Kampf)

The kind of resentment Adolf Hitler displayed in exterminating the Jews was no doubt a long-festered desire, built upon rage and desperation, which could no longer be contained within a single person. It is obvious that Hitler found an inappropriate release by means of manipulating people by fear.  What, though, started Hitler’s misguided mind on the path towards the World War II genocide against the Jews?
Throughout Hitler’s lifetime, his violent thoughts were conditioned by many instances of fear and, at least in his mind, unfair treatment. At age 18, Hitler had finally exhausted his mother’s insistence upon his formal education, and he independently made the decision to leave his hometown of Linz and move Vienna, a popular art-oriented city. Although Hitler found education to be a waste of time, he enjoyed using his creative mind to design works of art that he hoped would support him.
Hitler dreamed of becoming a famous architect; he even dreamed of redesigning the entire city of Vienna (“Rise of Hitler”). Unfortunately for him, he was rejected from the only school at which he had ever cared to study, the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts. At the time Hitler took his rejection as a personal blow to his ego, and suddenly he found himself looking from the outside in on Vienna’s artistic community.
In contrast, Hitler’s only close friend, his roommate, August Kubizek, was readily accepted into the Vienna Conservatory to study music. Kuibzek had grown up in the same town as Hitler and had therefore grown accustomed to his absolute need to be first in everything he attempted. According to “Adolf Hitler: Biography and Character,” “August was highly impressionable; Adolf was on the lookout for someone to impress. It was the perfect partnership.” Unfortunately, when Kubizek was accepted into the Conservatory, that dynamic changed, and suddenly August was the one who was making his impression on the world, rather than Hitler.
After Hitler received the rejection, he launched into a tirade in which “his face was livid, the mouth quite small, the lips almost white. But the eyes glittered. There was something sinister about them. As if all the hate of which he was capable lay in those glowing eyes…” reports Kubizek himself (“Once Adolf”).
            Kubizek then left the apartment they had shared to attend military training for just over two months. When he returned, he found no trace of Hitler; he had obviously moved out, leaving no forwarding address for the mail that had accumulated on Kubizek’s doorstep.
            Finally Hitler had succeeded in completely isolating himself from everyone who had ever shown compassion for him. Having nowhere else to go, Hitler lived on the streets for several years. He was constantly in and out of homeless shelters, surrounded by the cold, heartless world. In his personal biography, Mein Kampf, Hitler actually describes this homeless period of his life,
“…I exalt it for tearing me away from the hollowness of comfortable life; for drawing the mother’s darling out of his soft downy bed and giving him ‘Dame Care’ for a new mother; for hurling me, despite all resistance, into a world of misery and poverty, thus making me acquainted with those for whom I was later to fight.”
While Hitler was homeless, he struggled to acquire enough funds to buy simply bread and water. Although being rejected from art school deterred Hitler from becoming a famous architect, it did not stop him from selling his paintings along the streets of Vienna. For years, this was his only means of income.
It was no doubt while struggling among the people of Vienna that Hitler’s most apparent reasons for hating the Jews started to emerge in the midst of his despair. However, it was not just among the lost and degraded people of Vienna that Anti-Semitism ran rampant.
“Among the middle class in Vienna, anti-Semitism was considered rather fashionable, the mayor, Karl Lueger, a noted anti-Semite, was a member of the Christian Social Party which included anti-Semitism in its political platform. There were also anti-Semitic tabloids and pamphlets available at the newsstands and at local coffee shops.” (“Rise of Hitler”)
It could have been mere desire to fit in among people in higher positions that drove Hitler to start actively demonstrating his hatred against Jews, succumbing to the “peer pressure effect.” Even more likely is it that the seed of contempt against Jews was planted many years before. It was planted where it could never be uprooted, a place that should have rightfully been sheltered from the cruelties of the world: his home.
.                       .                       .
These people must not be allowed to find out who I am. They must not know where I came from and who my family is. – Adolf Hitler, 1931

For a man like Adolf Hitler, who became so powerful, so self-righteous, so prejudiced, the heritage of his family should have been something to have been proud of, possibly even flaunted among the lower class. However, that was the exact opposite of Hitler’s reality. He took extreme measures to conceal the origins of his family, in particular, the origins of his paternal grandfather, who is often referred to as the “Phantom Jew” (Hitler: The Pathology 12).
According to scholars, Alois Hitler, Adolf’s father, was conceived while his Aryan mother was working as a maid for a Jewish family (Victor 14). Hitler’s grandfather was believed to be the son of the Jewish family, making Hitler one-fourth Jewish. This was a fact that Hitler tried to conceal as if it were worse than death itself. Surely after using the Jews’ race as an excuse for exterminating them, it would have been catastrophic should his origins have been made public. To prevent that from happening, one of Hitler’s first priorities as ruler of Germany was to destroy the village his grandmother was working in at the time of her impregnation (“Adolf Hitler: Biography” 1).
            The realization that Hitler was very likely one-fourth Jewish questions his true motivation for slaughtering the Jews. His reasoning could never make sense to the logical mind without the knowledge of what Hitler had to endure as a child within his family.
            His father, Alois Hitler, was an alcoholic who made no pretenses towards being a faithful mate to his wife, Klara. He left her to care for not only Adolf and his younger sister but also for his deceased wife’s two children. Alone, Klara kept busy raising four children, dreading the time when her husband would come home. Along with severe physical abuse, Alois inflicted deep wounds on his wife’s emotional being. Klara seemed to be incapable of doing anything well enough to please Alois. At one point, he even criticized her for not producing more healthy children (Victor 23). Because of this
“Klara believed Adolf had a weak constitution and never stopped believing it. Because she was his caretaker, her perception affected him strongly… She overprotected and overindulged him and favored him over her children born after him… It would also foster the hypochondria he would suffer from throughout his adult life.” (Victor 24)
Up until his death, Hitler would foster the belief that he was somehow chronically ill and would regularly use many drugs and in large doses, which associates said finally ruled his health (Victor24).
            Although he did not appreciate reading, writing, and arithmetic, Hitler was not a unintelligent child. He was incredibly perceptive and understood perfectly well that a man, such as his father, physically abusing his wife and children was not morally sound. By age ten Hitler had decided to follow his older stepbrother’s example and run away from Alois and his abuse; however, Hitler’s ploy did not go unnoticed and was stopped before he could carry out his idea (Victor29). Alois beat him so severely that Hitler slipped into a coma for several days. Eventually he made a full physical recovery, but his mental attitude towards power was forever altered. This could have contributed to his disrespect in the classroom and other settings, as well as his insensitivity to death as an adult, being as he had come close to experiencing the black lace of death himself.
Like so many abused children, Hitler did not have the strength or the resources to stop his father from harming the members of his family. He did, however, become unusually attached to his mother, attempting to be her savior (Victor 21). This need to be a hero of sorts would carry into his adulthood.
.                       .                       .
“His good intentions, perverted by demons, ruled Germany.” (Victor 7)

            Connecting Hitler’s early life to the vehemence he demonstrated towards the Jews further sheds light on what created the a fascist dictator known as Adolf Hitler. The prohibitions that he single handedly enacted, the Nuremberg Laws, banned the Jews from marrying or engaging in sex with Aryans. This was clearly meant to prevent someone like his father from being born ever again. The obscure prohibition against Jews employing Aryan maids during their childbearing years covered the exact situation in which his father had been conceived, as Hitler understood it (Victor 18). Hitler was, in theory, trying to save all Aryan women from all Jewish men (Victor 29). However, as George Victor argues, “the phantom Jew may never have existed,” but in Adolf’s mind he was a powerful figure, standing behind the morbid obsession that drove him to bleed himself with leeches and, after he identified himself with Germany, to bleed the nation (20).
            It is no doubt that Hitler’s startling abilities as a leader and persuader continue to be the most untraditional that the world has ever seen. Despite the fact that he had no formal training as a speaker and very little basic academic knowledge, he was able to impress audiences with his charisma and stage presence alone. His speaking appealed more to his audiences’ hearts than to their minds but contained enough logic to be concluded as plausible by even scholarly minds (“Goebbels on Hitler”). He commanded respect by his façade of wealth and prestige and was able to unite the entire nation of Germany, which was already on unsteady ground after World War I, under a common enemy. “To put it simply his power was not institutional but charismatic. This power was wholly dependent on the readiness of others to see ‘heroic’ qualities in him. Unfortunately they did see those qualities and possibly even before Hitler himself saw and believed in them.” (Adolf Hitler Changes Europe) Being raised in an abusive setting, Hitler was no doubt used to feeling crushed and defeated. Having one person show true interest in his abilities would have done nothing but bolster his confidence. Suddenly Hitler was overwhelmed by a whole nation believing in his ideals, which only made him more dangerous to those whom he opposed.
.                       .                       .
“A man does not die for something in which he himself does not believe in.”
(Mein Kamf 47)

Winston Churchill once said that Hitler was “a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma (“Adolf Hitler Changes”).” How true those words remain! Even with the wealth of theories and speculations that skilled researchers have produced concerning the inner workings of Adolf Hitler, the true reasons for Hitler’s insanity will remain forever buried, deeper than the countless tragedies that he wrought upon the world.
It is easy to view Hitler as a fascist dictator, a lunatic, and a mass murderer; it is easy to despise his very existence. It is not, however, as natural to view the man as just that: a human, who had feelings and was once a little boy sleeping peacefully in his mothers arms, a teenager with great prospects as an architect, a ragged artist on the streets of Vienna, a terribly unhappy specimen of life. Yes, it’s the things that lie deeper within the man that turned Hitler’s mind into a mess of thoughts and feelings that existed in another world in which no one felt anymore, a world governed by Hitler’s own ideologies alone.  
            I do not support or excuse Hitler’s principles or his vile actions. Rather, I intend to provide a clear interpretation of Hitler’s background so that more can understand what originally sent Hitler down the path of fascist dictator instead of famous designer, with the realization that not all abused, unfortunate people become “Hitlers.”
            Take for example the first lady of talk shows, Oprah Winfrey. She too grew up in an abusive, unfortunate situation, having to deal with many feelings of abandonment and discontent (“Oprah Winfrey Biography”). Yet, she is known as one of the world’s most generous people, not as a fascist dictator. Therefore, obviously something more than just adverse circumstances in his past led Hitler to cause such tragedy in the era of the twentieth century.
Nearly sixty years later the world has made a recovery from the atrocities of Hitler’s regime. But like the way Hitler recovered from his father’s beatings, the world will never recuperate emotionally. His ideologies are still remembered with disdain, and have left a mark on the world that remain indefinitely.

           Works Cited
"Adolf Hitler: Biography and Character." Web. <www.suu.edu/faculty/ping/
pdf/hitlerbiography.pdf>.
"Adolf Hitler Changes Europe: The Personality and Power of the Man Who Ruled Germany 1933-1945." Suite101.com: Online Magazine and Writers' Network. Web. 09 Feb. 2011. <http://www.suite101.com/content/the-power-of-adolf-hitler-a49312>.
"Adolf Hitler Killer File." Moreorless - Heroes and Killers of the 20th Century. Web. 01 Mar. 2011. <http://www.moreorless.au.com/killers/hitler.html>.
"Goebbels on Hitler as a Speaker." Calvin College - Loving God with Heart, Soul, Mind and Strength. Web. 07 Feb. 2011. <http://www.calvin.edu/academic/
cas/gpa/ahspeak.htm>.
Hitler, Adolf. Mein Kampf. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 2001. Print.
"Once Adolf Hitler Was a Nice Sensible Person." Tech-Archive.net: The Source for Usenet News. Web. 28 Feb. 2011. <http://sci.tech-archive.net/
Archive/sci.med.diseases.lyme/2008-01/msg00286.html>.
"Oprah Winfrey Biography - Life, Family, Childhood, Parents, Name, Story, History, School, Mother, Young." Encyclopedia of World Biography. Web. 01 Mar. 2011. <http://www.notablebiographies.com/We-Z/
Winfrey-Oprah.html>.
"Rise of Hitler: Hitler Is Homeless in Vienna." The History Place. Web. 07 Feb. 2011. <http://www.historyplace.com/worldwar2/riseofhitler/
homeless.htm>.
Victor, George. Hitler: the Pathology of Evil. New York: Bristol Park, 2010. Print.
3.02.2011 | By: sanitymochas

SA(S)S

The time has come... Sanity Mochas is expanding! As of right now my new blog, SA(S)S, is open for viewing. Let me start by telling you what SA(S)S stands for.

Stranded
At
Starbucks

As you have probably already guessed, the second 'S' in SA(S)S stands for absolutely nothing; but hey! An extra 's' never hurt anybody and everybody could use a little SA(S)S in their day!

SA(S)S is a blog devoted completely to my love of reading. I will be reviewing as many books as possible as the school year draws to a finish. Brave New World and The Great Gatsby have already been reviewed and are patiently awaiting readers. I hope to conduct meaningful literary discussions by means of SA(S)S, so please feel free to leave comments!

There is also a new feature of Sanity Mochas, a box entitled "SA(S)S." In this box will be upcoming titles of books that will soon be reviewed. There will also be a link to the page so that it will never be lost. Look for it on the right of your screen.

Come visit me soon!