A Small Piece of Humorous Fiction...

The Princess and the Frog

       Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a very ugly princess. Now this particular princess was getting older, but because of her looks, could not capture the attentions of a suitable prince. It would be a great tragedy to the people of the land if their future queen did not marry, and so the princess decided that there was nothing else to do but to start kissing frogs in the hope of one evolving into her true love. Determined to succeed, she flounced out to the pond, looking for her first victim. 

       "Mr. Frog Prince Sir! Oh, where are you?" 

       The floating frogs heard her calls, and gathered from her expressions that she was up to no good. They were all very well aware of her hideous looks, and none of them wanted to be touched by her, let alone kissed by her! As soon as she came into view, the frogs leaped into the water, and a great SPLASH sent the lily pads swirling. The princess saw the water's vigorous movements and thought to herself how strange indeed it was for the water to be so tumultuous on such a still day. 

       Undeterred, she scanned the abandoned waters a single frog, and finally her eyes came upon one very old frog. He himself was know for being very ugly, and a person with any sense at all would have recognized that he was certainly no prince. However, the princess was not as sharp in the area of mental skills as most others. Accordingly she waded into the pond, and picked him up. "Can I kiss you?" she said bluntly.

       He looked up at her from his beady eyes. "I don't know. Can you?" he croaked hoarsely.

       "Well you see," the princess began to explain, "I'm trying to find a prince. So before do this, kiss you I mean, let me ask: Are you a prince?"

       The old frog took a moment to think by furrowing his slimy brows before he answered, "I do not know. I very well might be. Kiss me and you'll find out."

       The princess' face crinkled, for now she realized how ugly this frog truly was. "Please do not fool me," she said innocently. Her face contorted in a very unflattering way. "You are rather ugly, and I do not truly love you," she paused dramatically and it was as if a great revelation had come across her thoughts. She snapped her fingers and exclaimed, "Maybe the transformation would not be complete if I did not love you!"

       "Just do it!" The frog winked grotesquely. "I have much hopping around to do today, and I can't wait much longer!"

       The thought of her opportunity slipping away was unbearable, and she sighed heavily. "Okay, then, here it goes!" She puckered her lips and delivered the ugly frog the best kiss she could muster, despite her apparent disgust. Her eyes remained closed for a few seconds afterward, and her lips began to quiver and to move up and down slowly. 

       "What are you doing?" the frog asked confusedly.

       "I am praying that when I open my eyes you will be my handsome prince."

       The frog rolled his eyes, "Would I still be in your hand if I was a prince?"

       "Good point." Her eyes shot open. Sure enough, he remained just as ugly of an old frog as he was before.

       Suddenly, the frog gasped and leaped from her hand. Disheartened, the princess sighed and sat upon a log. "I even repulse the frogs!" she whispered.

       There was a giggle from within the woods. 

       The princess' senses were exhilarated by embarrassment, and she meagerly said, "HELLO? Whose there?" 

       Again there was a giggle.

      Her eyes skimmed the outskirts of the forest, searching for any sign of life. Before she could locate the giggle's source, out of the trees stepped the most handsome prince her eyes had ever come across. She immediately began to blush and noticed his cheeks turn rosy too. 

       "Uh, hi!" said the prince amicably. 

       The princess searched for proper words, and when she found them she murmured, "Um, hello."

       "Are you otherwise engaged to that frog?" he asked, and she heard the familiar come from his beautiful lips. "Otherwise I would like to ask you to accompany me to the royal ball."

       "Really?" she almost screamed. There before her stood the man of her dreams, and she could not contain herself from dancing a small gig, but upon realizing how unbecoming her mother had told her tangents really were, she stopped. She straightened her form and attempted to say astutely, "I mean, um, why I'd love to!"

       It was not but a few days later that the two royals went to the ball together and danced under the moonlight, where the ugly princess' features were somewhat dulled. They lived happily ever after...

       Moral: Frogs are not a necessary tool for falling in love.